How to Motivate YourSelf In life

In our darkest hours, even our shadow leaves us, all the doors are shut on our face, we feel anxious, confused and in denial of the present state, often we come in this situation by our own mistakes, if we see the root cause of our situation could be our greed, our miscalculation or may be our foolhardiness, when we desperately seek to bring our life back on track its very important although difficult to calm your mind but we must realise that this is the only way to move forward.

“As your self what would I do if I wasn’t scared?” if asked properly, the answer to this question will give all the answers to you current and future problems, ever seen how a cat reacts when she is surrounded and has no escape route, she launches the most extraordinary and fierce attack, which most of the time overwhelm’s her adversaries.

 What would I do if I wasn’t scared? leave your fears aside for couple of moments and find the answer to this question, and I assure you that you will get the most simple and realistic answers to your problems, simple but most effective and most importantly realistic in the situation you are in.

Always believe that there is no adversity you can’t defeat, your weapons in this fight are fearlessness and calmness, force a smile on your face even under tremendous pressure.

One very important point, in such times no matter what you must remain truthful, bring a better plan on the table and have faith in your self and your abilities, you will emerge victorious.

There are problems which we may not have any control on and they are not our creation, demise of a loved one, loss of livelihood due to an act of god like flood or earthquake or an outbreak of a disease, like the one currently our world is grappling with, there is not much you can do in these situations, but do realise that you are not the only one suffering in these situations.

Life is ephemeral, its structure is very fragile, you must realise that you have to be very alert in making your choices, the modern civilisation is created by the brave and the foolhardy, but one out of a million succeed in expeditions which change the course of the world.

Always analyse what is at stake and what could be lost if you don’t win the roulette, most importantly the life style of your loved once must not diminish.

 

 

Advertisement

Your Choice

There was a man named Thomas, every evening he would come drunk, stinking and bleeding from the wounds he got from the bouts he started,  he was unemployable, had no friends, unfortunately he had a wife Jenny (Unfortunate for her) and 4 kids, his wife would work as domestic help in the city, she would earn meagre wages that could barely feed her and her kids, she would hide the money from her husband.

Every evening her nightmare begins as Thomas walks in and started beating his kids and then his wife, he would succeed in snatching the money from his wife, he would often leave them crying and go to a wine shop and would drink till he is completely out of his senses.

One day when Thomas was lying unconscious under a tree, a sage who was passing by, saw him, the sage had supernatural powers, he placed his palm on the forehead of the man and closed his eyes, the sage could see his entire life under his closed eyelids.

The sage pressed his palm on Thomas’s forehead, but with force this time, a shock went through Thomas’s body, as if some one lifted him high in the air and then smashed him back on the ground, he was awake, probably after many years, and saw the sage standing in front of him, he got up abruptly he was shocked to see his body still lying under the tree, “Am I dead” he asked “no, but you will, very soon, let me show you what you did in your life, and where you will go from here” the sage waved his hand and Thomas saw his life started unfolding in front of him like a movie, he saw his parents, they were so happy when he was born, his first day at school, the first time he tested alcohol with his friends, how he was thrown out of his school, his father tried so hard to make him quit drinking, but he chose to run away instead, only to came back few days later, his marriage, death of his father and mother few years later, he saw his first child being born, he was so happy, that day he decided to quit drinking, but he could only control the urge for couple of days, he saw his kids crying, his wife working so hard and taking care of the house and the kids, tears started flowing from his eyes, but it was all past, and then the story came to the present time.

He saw himself getting up, he faltered his way back to his house, he saw how his family is scared to see him, his wife was in tears and begged him not to ask for money as there youngest child was not well, and has to be shown to a doctor, but he didn’t budged, he started yelling and shouting again, he pushed his wife and snatched her purse, opened it and took all the money inside it, he then left the house walking towards the wine shop, he could barely walk but he was walking anyway, as he reached the crossroad, he heard a screeching sound, he turned around and saw an uncontrolled truck rushing towards him, he was scared and heavily intoxicated, he couldn’t move an inch and the truck smashed his frail body, seconds later he was dead.

His neighbours rushed to inform her wife about the accident, instead of sorrow, he saw a sense of relief on her face, his kids were silent they were too young to react, but he could sense that they were not going to miss him either, a moment later the wife regained her composure and said “Sir my child is not well, I can’t leave him, can you please inform the municipal corporation officials to arrange for his cremation, as I don’t have money to cremate him, her neighbour knew what kind of a person her husband was, they nodded and left the family alone.

His family was relieved as there tormentor was no more, “this will be your future if you follow the current course of action, “Choice is Yours”, said the sage, Thomas was awestruck, he looked at his right, in the direction of the voice, but there was no one, the sage had disappeared.

He woke up, still intoxicated, he sat under the tree, his whole body was aching in pain, he waited for hours under the tree, he cried for hours and then mustered courage to get up on his feet and started walking towards his home, as he reached his home he knocked the doors softly, Jenny opened the door and surprised to see Thomas, as he would usually bang the doors while abusing her, she was surprised to see a calm Thomas, still stinking and dirty but calm, his eyes lowered as if burdened by guilt, after silence of a few moments, he looked at Jenny and asked “how is Samantha” there youngest daughter, Jenny couldn’t believe her eyes, for the first time in many years, Thomas as asked for his kids, Jenny started sobbing and said “she is burning in fever” I am taking her to a doctor”, she said in a very heavy voice, Thomas was controlling his tears as he know now that what he saw wasn’t a dream, “give me a moment, I am coming with you” he said and rushed to the bathroom, he cleaned himself, changed his clothes and was at the door in 10 minutes.

Jenny couldn’t believe what she was seeing, they went to a doctor and brought medicines for Samantha, to their relief she was suffering from seasonal throat infection and she will be fine in couple of days. As they came back, Jenny and kids were still in a state of awe to see Thomas’s transformation, they had a quiet dinner and all of them except Thomas slept peacefully.

Next morning, when Jenny woke up, she saw Thomas sitting besides her with a cup of coffee and cookies, she wanted to ask Thomas the reason for his transformation, but she didn’t had the courage, it was like a dream come true for her, as she sipped coffee, Thomas said “Jenny what I did to you and to our kids, is beyond repentance, I will stay at house and won’t go out for next 30 days, I think I will be able to quit drinking if I control my self for a month, and then I will work while you will stay at home and look after the kids. Jenny couldn’t believe what she was hearing, her eyes filled with tears of Joy, she nodded.

This time Thomas did what he committed Jenny, it was very painful for him especially the first 7 days, he would read Bible for hours, and after a month he was a transformed man, he knew tailoring, so he joined a tailor shop as assistant, he worked very hard and earned respect from his employer who offered him a pay raise, Jenny and the kids were never happier, in the evening Thomas would take his kids and Jenny to the park and he would cook on Sundays, few years lated Thomas bought a shop and started his own tailoring business, he also bought a bigger house for him self and his family.

One day when he was working in his shop all alone, on a new catalogue of designs, he sensed a presence, he was surprised to see the sage standing in front of him, he got up from his chair and ran towards the sage and hugged him, tears flowing from his eyes, uttering only one word “thank you” he then bend on his knees, but the sage lifted him, and looked at him smiling at him, “I still don’t understand what really happened that day, please tell what really happened” he bagged the sage “Thomas all I can tell you is that a I showed you the possible outcome of your current course of journey, it was you who opted a different course, you chose this future” said the sage smiling “always remember Thomas Choice is yours to make” the sage left.

Near death experience can alter the course of life, but is it really essential to have a near death experience to check the course of life and correct it? while all we have to do is sit back and contemplate on our life, basic things like who are we treating our family and our own body.

We have the ability to choose the correct course of action, all we have to do is to muster our inner strength and opt for it, remember “Choice is Ours to make”.

Remember always! That ‘imbalance’ Says, I’m balance!

Sometimes when things are falling apart, they may actually be falling into place” – J. Lynn

It is important to find strength in redefining moments and come out stronger than before. When your life is out of balance.

In your quest for balance in life,

Juggling between the multiple tasks

At times torn apart by strife,

The you in you is often lost.

Reflect and introspect. Take a few steady steps,

Let not the you within you, wilt or wither at any cost,

The equilibrium you strive for Can’t be achieved when you are at war, With yourself.

Choose your battles, wisely, Let the you in you win calmly.

The pursuit for balance is perpetual,

Let the ‘you within you’ become a ritual.

Remember always! That ‘imbalance’ Says, I’m balance!

True Meaning of Education

What Does it Mean to Be Educated

Just like a passport is a pre-requisite to travel the world, similarly, a good education is a pre-requisite to lead a meaningful life confidently. Whom, then, do I call educated? The following is the definition of education given by Socrates approximately two thousand years ago.

First, those who manage well the circumstances which they encounter day by day; and those who can judge situations appropriately as they arise and rarely miss the suitable course of action.

Next, those who are honorable in their dealings with all men, bearing easily what is unpleasant or offensive in others and being as reasonable with their associates as is humanly possible.

Furthermore, those who hold their pleasures always under control and are not unduly overcome by their misfortunes, bearing up under them bravely and in a manner worthy of our common nature.

Most important of all, those who are not spoiled by their successes, who do not desert their true selves, but hold their ground steadfastly as wise and sober-minded men, rejoicing no more in the good things that have come to them through chance than in those which through their own nature and intelligence are theirs since birth.

Those who have a character which is in accord, not with one of these things, but with all of them, these are educated— possessed of all the virtues. – Socrates (470-399 B.C)

 

Acres Of Diamond

Hafiz was a farmer in Africa who was happy and content. He was happy because he was content. He was content because he was happy. One day a wise man came and told him about the glory of diamonds and the power that goes along with them. The wise man said, “If you had a diamond the size of your thumb, you could buy your own city. If you had a diamond the size of your fist, you could probably buy your own country.” And then the wise man left.

That night, Hafiz couldn’t sleep. He was unhappy and he was discontented. He was unhappy because he was discontented and discontented because he was unhappy. The next morning Hafiz made arrangements to sell his farm, took care of his family and went off in search of diamonds. He looked all over Africa and couldn’t find any. He looked all through Europe and couldn’t find any. By the time he got to Spain, he was emotionally, physically and financially broke. He was so disheartened that he threw himself into the Barcelona river and committed suicide.

Back home, the person who had bought his farm was watering the camels at the stream that ran through the farm. Across the stream, the rays of the morning sun hit a stone and made it sparkle like a rainbow. He thought the stone would look good in his living room. He picked up the stone and put it on his mantle piece. That afternoon, the wise man came and saw the stone sparkling. He asked, “Is Hafiz back?” The new owner said, “No, why do you ask?” The wise man said, “Because that is a diamond. I recognise one when I see one.” The man said, “No, that’s just a stone I picked up from the stream. Come I’ll show you. There are many more.” They went and picked some samples and sent them for analysis. Sure enough, the stones were diamonds. They found that the farm was indeed covered with acres and acres of diamonds.

What is the moral of this story? There are many morals:

1. When our attitude is right, we realise that we are all walking on acres of diamonds. Opportunities are always under our feet. We don’t have to go anywhere.

2. When we don’t know how to recognize opportunity, it could slap us on our face and we would still not be able to recognize it. All we need to do is to learn to recognize opportunities.

3. People, who don’t know how to recognise opportunities, complain of noise when they knock.

4. Lost opportunities are easier recognised when they are leaving rather than when they are coming.

5. An opportunity only knocks once. The next one may be better or worse, but never the same one. That is why it is so crucial to make the right decision at the right time. A right decision at the wrong time becomes a wrong decision.

6. The grass on the other side always looks greener. There are two dimensions to the greener grass: a. It may be possible that the other farmer is taking better care of his grass and it is actually greener. b. Most of the time, however, it is only an illusion. Many times in life, while chasing an illusion, we lose out the opportunity right under our own feet.

7. While we are eyeing the grass on the other side, there are others who are eyeing the grass on our side. They would be happy to trade places with us.

Subconscious Influence

The art of influence entails handling emotions effectively in other people. Star performers are artful in sending emotional signals, which make them powerful communicators, able to sway an audience — in short, leaders.

We influence each others moods or emotional state for batter or worse is perfectly normal; we do it constantly, catching emotions from one another like some kind of social virus. This emotional exchange constitutes an invisible interpersonal economy, part of every human interaction , but it is usually too subtle to notice.

Even so , the transmission of mood is remarkably powerful. When three strangers, all volunteers for a study of mood sat quietly in a circle for two minutes, the most emotionally expressive person transmitted his or her mood to the two others over the course of two minutes. In every such session the mood the most expressive person had going in was also the mood the other two felt coming out , whether happy, bored anxious or angry.

From the various studies, it has been established that emotions of the people effect the state of  any organisation or the economy of the country  In not so subtle ways. We all make each other feel a bit better or a lot more worse as part of any contact we have , every encounter can be weighted along a scale from emotionally toxic to nourishing.

Like wise the outcome of how people think shapes the future of society and the country!

 

Choose Your Friends wisely!

It is said that the people you spend maximum time with; your friends, colleagues, relatives etc, your personality, your ideology and even your life is a summation of the average qualities of all these people. Our friend circle which we build later influence our life to such an extent that it transforms us, it makes us like them (the friend circle)

At times I think what should be the basic qualities of my friend? how to choose friends, and who should I trust a person as a friend? the person whom I like and I would share the most precious thing in my life, “my time”.

The most important quality a friend should have, is likemindedness, you may have different aspirations or goals in life but your values should be same, please don’t get me wrong, you and your friends can and should have difference of opinion but your moral values should be same, that will be the foundation of your friendship.

Second important criterion is the trust, in one life time a person would be called very lucky if he or she has more than two real good friends, in real sense a person with whom you can trust your life with, is truly your friend.

Your friend can be someone who compliments you, or rather he may have qualities which you lack, for example you are an introvert wherein your friend can be a person who is quite outspoken.

Friendship has to pass the test of time, you may find people who would swear to be your friends but would chicken out on the first hint of you being in trouble, so as I said, time will tell who your real friend is.

The person with above qualities will be your true friend, he or she would be the one you can trust your secrets with, needless to say you must reciprocate, rest of the people are mob nothing more, you shouldn’t be paying any attention to them, but keep your true friend very close to you and stand by him/her as he/she would in the hour of need.

The Path

When I was a kid, my grandfather was the sun of our solar system, followed by my father, he was the most important person in and of our family, every one would look up to him for every important decision to be made, few years later he passed the baton to my father, and he assumed a rather supporting role, as the time passed he started detaching him self from all the responsibilities he use to carry, and one day he was no more with us, he became a memory in our hearts and minds, my father is now the head of the family.

Isn’t this  life cycle or phenomenon is supremely common every where in the world, and the same is being followed for generations, for centuries; point is what can we learn from it?

I think some of the facts are noteworthy:

• Each one of us is mortal, we walk the planet for a finite span of time, and the day of our departure although is most certain, nobody knows when exactly will it happen.
• The day of our departure could be today or it could be a day next year or decade, no body knows when and how he or she will have to pack up and leave.
• Now if in the end we all have to leave the show, then the question is what part should we choose to play till the time we are on stage.
• I have seen a lot of people who spend there entire life Judging others, dominating others, offending and being offended, they make there lives and the lives of people around them miserable, in the end there story is one full of regrets, and then I have seen few who live there life in full, they are filled with bliss, they focus on them self, they respect there life and the lives of others, they are so busy in self upliftment that they don’t have time to bother others, there life becomes a beautiful song, sung by many even after they are gone.

Now the question is what should be our priorities and is it possible to choose the correct path, which comes down to the very question, what is the correct path and how to ascertain one for ourself?  There are some very simple ways to follow the path:

Do not Impose your will: First of all for realising our infinite potential, one must avoid the urge to somehow control the lives of others, these others include siblings, spouse, children, friends, cousins etc, now what I mean by not trying to control there lives is that we must advice them as to what according to us is best for them, but we should happily accept and respect there decision even if its contrary to our advice, we must allow them to chart there on course of life as they are responsible for the decisions they’ve made and the outcomes of those decisions.

Attitude of Gratitude : This is the key to a happy and blissful life, please try this out, every day before going to sleep take a minute and thank God for all the things you have, health, house, spouse, kids etc, and see the magic it brings in your life.

Be a constant learner: the single most important trait that led to the evolution of Human mind and civilisation is Curiocity , learn at least one thing new every day and if possible write it somewhere.

Know The Trickster: Our mind does something very peculiar with us, it keep swinging us between past and future like a pendulum, it keep reminding us of the mistakes, unpleasant events or failures of our past which make us feel guilty and then it swings us to the future, basically it tries to scare us by painting a picture of a bleak future, this trick of our mind depletes our ability to create and do the best for ourself, how to control it? the best way to control it by occupying your self with a lot of work which you really love to do, when ever your mind tries to trick you, take a deep breath, hold it for six seconds and then release it slowly. Truest me this simple technique works like a charm!!.

Child is the father of man: Ever thought why a child a baby is always so happy, that’s because he lives in the present moment!

 

 

 

 

Divine Gift

Mothers are the most beautiful gift of life. They are full of affection, care and compassion. Mothers always believe in giving and in the act of giving, many times they forget their own desires and wishes.

Our mother is the very reason for our existence. They are a world in themselves, a world full of love. Mothers have been given status of God. They do everything for everyone but doesn’t expect anything in return. Even a little smile you bring on her face turns hundred folds to bless you in many ways.

Love your mother and do every possible thing to make her happy and proud of you

Let It Go

Forgiveness is the beginning of healing. When we forgive, it doesn’t lessen our pain but it does help us to heal.

There are people who apologise for their mistakes and there are those who would  never admit it. When someone apologises, we have a feeling that they are regretful. Many times we choose to forgive, because we know what has been done cannot be undone. There are times when we forgive them even if they haven’t apologised. This happens when we reach a certain level of understanding of life. We realise that life is the greatest teacher and everyone learns a lesson in their own way.

Forgive others because you do not want to live in that pain every moment. It might seem hard but when you experience the healing that comes with it, you will never choose to hold on to any grudge and be in pain.