Choose Your Friends wisely!

It is said that the people you spend maximum time with; your friends, colleagues, relatives etc, your personality, your ideology and even your life is a summation of the average qualities of all these people. Our friend circle which we build later influence our life to such an extent that it transforms us, it makes us like them (the friend circle)

At times I think what should be the basic qualities of my friend? how to choose friends, and who should I trust a person as a friend? the person whom I like and I would share the most precious thing in my life, “my time”.

The most important quality a friend should have, is likemindedness, you may have different aspirations or goals in life but your values should be same, please don’t get me wrong, you and your friends can and should have difference of opinion but your moral values should be same, that will be the foundation of your friendship.

Second important criterion is the trust, in one life time a person would be called very lucky if he or she has more than two real good friends, in real sense a person with whom you can trust your life with, is truly your friend.

Your friend can be someone who compliments you, or rather he may have qualities which you lack, for example you are an introvert wherein your friend can be a person who is quite outspoken.

Friendship has to pass the test of time, you may find people who would swear to be your friends but would chicken out on the first hint of you being in trouble, so as I said, time will tell who your real friend is.

The person with above qualities will be your true friend, he or she would be the one you can trust your secrets with, needless to say you must reciprocate, rest of the people are mob nothing more, you shouldn’t be paying any attention to them, but keep your true friend very close to you and stand by him/her as he/she would in the hour of need.

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The Path

When I was a kid, my grandfather was the sun of our solar system, followed by my father, he was the most important person in and of our family, every one would look up to him for every important decision to be made, few years later he passed the baton to my father, and he assumed a rather supporting role, as the time passed he started detaching him self from all the responsibilities he use to carry, and one day he was no more with us, he became a memory in our hearts and minds, my father is now the head of the family.

Isn’t this  life cycle or phenomenon is supremely common every where in the world, and the same is being followed for generations, for centuries; point is what can we learn from it?

I think some of the facts are noteworthy:

• Each one of us is mortal, we walk the planet for a finite span of time, and the day of our departure although is most certain, nobody knows when exactly will it happen.
• The day of our departure could be today or it could be a day next year or decade, no body knows when and how he or she will have to pack up and leave.
• Now if in the end we all have to leave the show, then the question is what part should we choose to play till the time we are on stage.
• I have seen a lot of people who spend there entire life Judging others, dominating others, offending and being offended, they make there lives and the lives of people around them miserable, in the end there story is one full of regrets, and then I have seen few who live there life in full, they are filled with bliss, they focus on them self, they respect there life and the lives of others, they are so busy in self upliftment that they don’t have time to bother others, there life becomes a beautiful song, sung by many even after they are gone.

Now the question is what should be our priorities and is it possible to choose the correct path, which comes down to the very question, what is the correct path and how to ascertain one for ourself?  There are some very simple ways to follow the path:

Do not Impose your will: First of all for realising our infinite potential, one must avoid the urge to somehow control the lives of others, these others include siblings, spouse, children, friends, cousins etc, now what I mean by not trying to control there lives is that we must advice them as to what according to us is best for them, but we should happily accept and respect there decision even if its contrary to our advice, we must allow them to chart there on course of life as they are responsible for the decisions they’ve made and the outcomes of those decisions.

Attitude of Gratitude : This is the key to a happy and blissful life, please try this out, every day before going to sleep take a minute and thank God for all the things you have, health, house, spouse, kids etc, and see the magic it brings in your life.

Be a constant learner: the single most important trait that led to the evolution of Human mind and civilisation is Curiocity , learn at least one thing new every day and if possible write it somewhere.

Know The Trickster: Our mind does something very peculiar with us, it keep swinging us between past and future like a pendulum, it keep reminding us of the mistakes, unpleasant events or failures of our past which make us feel guilty and then it swings us to the future, basically it tries to scare us by painting a picture of a bleak future, this trick of our mind depletes our ability to create and do the best for ourself, how to control it? the best way to control it by occupying your self with a lot of work which you really love to do, when ever your mind tries to trick you, take a deep breath, hold it for six seconds and then release it slowly. Truest me this simple technique works like a charm!!.

Child is the father of man: Ever thought why a child a baby is always so happy, that’s because he lives in the present moment!

 

 

 

 

Divine Gift

Mothers are the most beautiful gift of life. They are full of affection, care and compassion. Mothers always believe in giving and in the act of giving, many times they forget their own desires and wishes.

Our mother is the very reason for our existence. They are a world in themselves, a world full of love. Mothers have been given status of God. They do everything for everyone but doesn’t expect anything in return. Even a little smile you bring on her face turns hundred folds to bless you in many ways.

Love your mother and do every possible thing to make her happy and proud of you

Let It Go

Forgiveness is the beginning of healing. When we forgive, it doesn’t lessen our pain but it does help us to heal.

There are people who apologise for their mistakes and there are those who would  never admit it. When someone apologises, we have a feeling that they are regretful. Many times we choose to forgive, because we know what has been done cannot be undone. There are times when we forgive them even if they haven’t apologised. This happens when we reach a certain level of understanding of life. We realise that life is the greatest teacher and everyone learns a lesson in their own way.

Forgive others because you do not want to live in that pain every moment. It might seem hard but when you experience the healing that comes with it, you will never choose to hold on to any grudge and be in pain.

Write your own Eulogy

One of the happiest countries in the world is Tibet, and the reason for there happiness is a dark ritual, every person of tibet is trained to visualise his/her death twice a day!

Sometimes we are knocked out by an unpleasant and an unplanned experience, the death of a loved one, a serious illness, a financial setback, or extreme adversity can cause us to stand back, look at our lives, and ask ourselves some hard questions: “what’s really important? Why am I doing what I’m doing?

 

As the great Steve jobs once said

“Remembering that you are going to die is the beat way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

Follow The dark ritual

The greatest gift of the mankind is the gift of imagination, Picture you’re self going to the funeral of a loved one. Picture yourself driving to the funeral parlour or chapel, parking the car and getting out. As you walk inside the building, you notice the flowers and the soft organ music. You see the faces of friends and family you pass along the way. You feel the shared sorrow of loosing, the joy of having known, that radiates from the hearts of the people there.

As you walk down to the front of the roman look inside the casket, you suddenly come face to face with your self. This is your funeral, three years from today. All these people have come to honour you, to express the feelings of love and appreciation for your life.

As you take a seat and wait for the service to begin, you look at the program in your hand. There are to be four speakers, the first is from your family, immediate and also extended-children, brothers, sisters, nephews, nieces, aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents who have come from all over the country to attend. The second speaker is one of your friends, someone who can give a sense of what you were as a person. The third speaker is from your work or your  profession, and the forth is from your church or some community organisation where you have been involved in service.

Now think deeply what would you like each of these speakers to say about you and your life? What kind of husband, wife, father, or mother would you like their words to reflect? What kind of son or daughter or cousin? what kind of friend? what kind of working associate?

What character would you like them to have seen in you? what contributions, what achievements of your would you want them to remember ? Look carefully at the people around you. What difference would you like to have made in their lives?

 

knowing Fear

It’s amusing that any thing which can be attributed to love can also be attributed or interpreted as fear. A child clinging to his/her mother can be understood in both ways – the child clings out of love, or out of fear, its the most primal emotion which basically is an impression of the past reflecting the future of the present, when people deny fear they become egocentric; when they recognise and accept it they go beyond it they become free from it.

Total lack of fear is possible only in utter chaos or in utmost orderliness, neither a saint nor a lunatic has fear, but fear is felt by people who are in between. Fear has its importance in sustenance of  the world, it is essential to preserve the order in the world, it is a primal instinct.

Fear of death preserve Life

Fear of wrong maintain right

Fear of sickness encourages hygiene

 

Do not try to eliminate fear, a pinch of it is required to keep you on the right path

Whenever a boundary is broken, it creates fear which creates aversion, this aversion brings you back inside the boundary and to keep your self in the boundary you set p defences, but when you try to defend your position it becomes stress and every time you try to defend your position it makes you weaker.

For example : waking up early in the morning for workout is for many breaking a boundary,  now the inertia of fear comes into play, it convinces you that waking up early in the morning for exercise causes more harm then good, as you work life demands you to remain awake late in the night and proper sleep is necessary for good health, hence you fall back within your boundaries and this time you would create better defences with the help of knowledge.

Let the happening be for the past, let the doing be for the present and the future is a mix of both.

 

Wounds of Life

Do you feel like telling your emotional story to the whole world, choose carefully who you want to share with.

Sharing our emotions makes our heart feel light. When the emotions are shared with the right person, it can help us to heal but if we open our heart in front of everyone, it can leave us even more hurt.

When we are going through a broken phase in life, at times we feel like sharing our story with everyone. Most of the people want to know your story because it makes them feel better about their own life. They like to feel pity on you rather than feeling empathetic. Only very few of your loved ones really understand your pain and truly want you to heal.

Most of those who want to see you suffer are in disguise of your friends and relatives, keep reminding your self to smile in front of them, if you can’t fake it!

It’s not easy to find out who really your loved once are, to find them you have to trust your heart, let your heart decide on who it really connects with, trust me it works.

If you are wounded, keep it to yourself and open up only to those who really care. Showing your wound to everyone will only delay its healing.

Loss…

True meaning of losing is when you are unable to retrieve what you have lost. Lost time and people who have gone forever are the biggest losses in life. 

If you ever come across situations when you lose every bit of what you have built, you lose everything that you have accumulated and you are left with nothing, remember, things can be built, wealth can be gained but  lost moment and lost lives cannot. You can never reverse time to enjoy those moments that are lost nor you can bring back those people you are holding a grudge against. These loses are irreparable. Spend beautiful moments with those you love leaving aside your ego and arrogance. Disagreements may happen but choose to move on without the feeling of resentment.

Always try your best you make the best use of your time so you can spend best moments with those you love. Only the time you spend creating beautiful memories is worthwhile, time lost in grudges is only a waste.

Evolution and me…

Millions of years ago, the first human walked the planet, they lived like other animals, started hunting in packs like wolves, later they started farming, started living in villages, few centuries later, they started building cities and civilisations, created cultures and religions, discovered and invented millions of things, started flying and sailing across the oceans, started looking for life in the other parts of the universe, we evolved….

Have we?????

If we give our lives a deeper evaluation, we will realise that we aren’t that different from the animals!!

Look at the average day we spend, consider the similarities with the animals:

Like them we work to eat, try to keep a safe place for themselves and their children, day begins with the run to hunt and ends with nothing, entire life revolving around fulfilling basic needs and lusts, marred with fear of loosing life and livelihood, summery of life is a book of unfulfilled desires and a realisation of a wasted life.

For the entire course of civilisation we have reaped the fruits sowed by a select few, there ingenuity has benefitted the entire mankind, we the rest of us have only followed our natural instincts filled with fear and lust and consumed them, embellished our lives making it Comfortable or as we assume it is.

How can we get over our monotonous lives and truly evolve?

Is there a simple way of achieving the higher purpose? Then the next question would be what exactly is the higher purpose of life.

Let me give you a very simple explanation of the higher purpose of your life:

Every one has a different purpose of life and its very easy to find out,

IT’s the Thing that makes you truly satisfied, just go for it, Do it, work for it, Live with it, Live every moment of your life for it. And most important thing, don’t give a damm to what others think about you.

Trust me when you do that, every thing else in your life will be taken care of, the real purpose of our lives is to dream and live for it, give it all you’ve got just play it hard, pursue it, love and live every moment of your life.

Be ware of the dreams, trust me they are alive, if you let them die, they will rot and fill the life with dismay and disappointment, don’t let them die, love them, live them, they will guarantee you one thing:

A smile when when its time to meet the master🙂